The Trick to Changing The way You React to Your Body’s Stress Response

It’s been a busy morning running errands, and we’re finally on our way home. All of the sudden, my four-year-old daughter lets out a high-pitched, blood-curdling scream. The response is immediate; my heart starts pounding, my muscles tense up, my chest tightens, and just like that, I’m in fight or flight mode.

Now, biologically, it makes perfect sense why my body responds so instantaneously to my child’s scream. Just like all other social animals, we make sounds that signal to others around us that there is danger. A scream performs that exact function in humans. My daughter’s shriek could mean that she’s in danger, or hurt, or scared. Of course, it didn’t mean that at all this time, nor does it in the vast majority of cases. Usually, a scream from one of my children indicates frustration or anger. But even though I know this, my body still responds to my children’s cries as if they need to be rescued. Evolution has ensured this, so that I don’t ignore the screams of my offspring in a time of crisis.

At this point, my body has flooded with adrenaline and norepinephrine, and is slowly starting to produce cortisol—the stress hormones that send me into that frantic fight or flight mode. I’m now energized and alert, and my non-essential functions are being regulated and repressed so that I can face the danger head on. But the thing is, I’m not actually in danger. Neither is my daughter. She was just annoyed with my two-year-old (who was entertaining himself by screeching), so she lashed out with an overexaggerated shriek of her own. I roll my eyes, issue an irritated reprimand to my daughter, explain how she should have expressed her frustration, and then move on. No harm, no foul, right?

Well, not really. The thing is, I have anxiety, and when my fight or flight response is triggered, it’s extremely difficult for me to shake it off. The sensation of my chest tightening, muscles tensing, and heart pounding sends my brain into a panic, which—if unchecked—can turn into a full-blown frenzy of overwhelming anxiety. Even though I know the scream wasn’t a big deal, the feelings associated with stress hormones are a big deal to me, so it’s critical for me to reign them back in as quickly as possible if I want to prevent the anxiety from taking over.

So what do I do now? How do I let my brain know that this trigger doesn’t represent an actual threat? Although I’m not always good about it, I’ve learned one valuable trick for helping my brain discern which triggers represent genuinely stressful situations, and which ones can be ignored.

I acknowledge—and validate—my stress response!

This might seem really obvious, or even a little ludicrous, because obviously my brain should already know that it’s triggered a stress response, right? Well, technically yes; it was my amygdala that sent the signal to my hypothalamus to produce those stress hormones, like a proverbial internal tornado siren. But one of the things that cortisol does is repress unnecessary bodily functions, and that includes (ironically enough) logical thinking. So while I’m aware that my body has been sent into fight or flight mode, my brain isn’t taking the time right now to be introspective. That’s why it’s so critical to take a step back, and acknowledge openly to myself that I’m having a stress response.

When you’re facing rising panic, take a second to think about how your body feels, to notice how tense your muscles are or how tight your chest is. Think about why your body has responded that way, and recognize what’s causing those reactions. Maybe even think to yourself, “My muscles are tensing and my heartrate has elevated so I can run away if I need to. It’s a good thing my body knows how to protect itself and respond to dangerous situations. Luckily, I don’t need to run or defend myself right now. My body’s just reacting this way because of X (whatever the trigger was—in my case, my daughter’s scream).”

It sounds funny, but taking the time to think logically through your own stress response can help you be at peace with what’s happening within your own body, instead of feeling powerless in the face of hormones racing in to take control. Think about those hormones as first responders (or as the incredible Mister Rogers liked to call them, helpers), instead of as invaders taking over your logical thinking and bodily functions. Stress hormones in large amounts or over prolonged periods are toxic. But that’s because they’re not designed to stay in your system. They’re designed to rush in to put you on high alert, and then disappear when the danger does. Acknowledge what those first responders are doing for you, and then dismiss them, so you can go on with your life.

Obviously this pattern gets harder to do the more frequent or prolonged the triggers are, so it isn’t a fool-proof method for battling anxiety. But it definitely can help prevent small, insignificant stressors from spiraling into unnecessary panic. The next time you feel your body leaping into fight or flight mode, don’t just ignore it—embrace it! And then let it go.

Have you tried anything like this to help ease your anxiety? Let me know in the comments!